08 October, 2008

Little Gnomes, in their Homes

Ok, after my inaugural post I stalled a bit, because the burning topic in my mind actually was video games.  There are a few things specifically, but I think I'll just cover one at a time.  The first is the World of Warcraft Brewfest holiday.

On WoW Insider I commented that one way to make more people happy with it would be to add a quest for a level 30 mount in addition to the level 60 mount quest they added this year.  My suggestion was to put the level 30 mount boss in Gnomeregan, but I didn't go into much detail about what the quest and encounter could look like.  With that in mind, here are some ideas.

- The High Tinker, the self-styled 'King of the Gnomes,' would be the starting quest giver.  He's on the pathway of one of the Brewfest activities, so it would be easy for first-time level 30s to find.  The quest itself should speak to all those gnomes who have been frustrated for years that a 30 something leper gnome still controls their capital, in spite of hundreds of level 70 gnomes running around the world.  Solve?  No... basically just give an explanation or at least address why it's still going on in a satisfying but amusing way.

- "Greetings, [class], and a happy Brewfest to you!  Of course, what gnome can be truly happy when our home remains in the diabolical clutches of my fallen apprentice?  I would face him and his minions myself, but how could my people move home to a Gnomeregan still teeming with radioactive monsters and clouds of toxic waste?  Perhaps you can help!  Tally Berryfizz has been working on a brew that will resist radiation.. among other things.  Will you take it to Gnomeregan to test it?"


-"Greetings, [class], and a happy Brewfest to you!  I have just received dire news, and could use the help of a hardy [race] such as yourself.  Apparently, the dark iron dwarves are ferrying barrels of their delicious.. er.. diabolical Direbrew to Gnomeregan!  What could they be planning?!  I need agents to investigate their dire doings!"

At this point he could even supply the characters with some sort of device to disguise themselves as leper gnomes, just to add to the fun.  When the players arrive at the Train Station area in the Gnomer entrance, they find a working train car [reuse the tram model] being unloaded by a handful of dark irons.  Brew kegs emanating the green Gnomer glow stand on the platform.  After killing the dark irons, a right click on a train control [steam tonk remote model] whisks the player off to the location where Boren Direbrew is orchestrating the radioactive contamination of barrels of Direbrew, which are then to be snuck into the Brewfest grounds at Ironforge and Orgrimmar.  It's up to the players to halt his nefarious scheme, and get some sweet level 30 swag in the bargain, including the blue quality level 30 mounts from Brewfest 2007.

During the fight, the boss could even use some sort of radioactive disorientation debuff to achieve a similar effect to the Direbrew girls in BRD.

From the Horde side, the quest could get it's start from one of the goblins at the festival site.  He would send them to Scooty in Booty Bay for a trip into Gnomer.  The purpose given by the goblin could be "We've recently detected too much radiation in the brew coming from one of our.. um.. suppliers.  The source of this is undoubtedly those gnomes and their imperfect understanding of radiating brew for enhanced inebriative toxicity.  Go speak with Scooty in Booty Bay, and have him send you to Gnomeregan to investigate!"

05 October, 2008

My Pills Ran Out

Since this is the first post of a self-published editorial column, I suppose the most common thing to begin with would be an explanation of the writer's motives.  Yesterday, when walking outside with my daughter, she commented that the sidewalk was very hot, and perhaps there was lava under it.  After thinking a moment, she added 'or maybe the devil lives right under our house.'  I said 'well.. that'd explain a lot.'

I think that's probably as good an explanation as anything, so I'll just go with that.  I should also clarify that she was intentionally trying to be both amusing and narratively adventurous.

I'm driven to write, but at the moment I'm afraid it's a little like driving in a strange city with no map.  And nobody along who's ever been there.  With people fighting in the backseat of the car.  And someone in the seat next to me reminding me about 8 different places I need to try to get to.  I'm tempted to stretch the metaphor even further and say that starting this column is somehow analogous to having one of those damned gps things, but I'm not convinced that would be anything more than a handy turn of phrase.  I think it's probably more accurate that I'm merely desirous of a podium to climb onto so I can scream to the cold dark about everything that pisses me off.  Ironically, I'm not sure I can bring myself to act that foolishly, regardless of how therapeutic it might prove.

Maybe I'll just piss'n'moan about video games.